YOU'RE LOVING THIS SONG. GETTING INTO IT. HE'S MAKING WISDOM GO VIRAL WITH HIS VIDEOS ONLINE GARNERING BILLIONS OF VIEWS EACH YEAR. >> HE SAID BILLIONS, FOLKS. NOW HE'S ON A NEW MISSION TO HELP PEOPLE FIND LOVE IN HIS BRAND NEW BOOK "EIGHT RULES OF LOVE: HOW TO FIND IT, KEEP IT AND LET IT GO." PLEASE WELCOME BEST-SELLING AUTHOR AND AWARD-WINNING PODCASTER JAY SHETTY. [ APPLAUSE ] >> WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU. >> WE CERTAINLY DO. >> WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT EARLY THIS MORNING, HOW EXCITED WE WERE. EVERYONE HAS A STORY. YOUR STORY IS REALLY FASCINATING. YOU ACTUALLY LIVED AS A MONK FOR THREE YEARS WHEN YOU WERE 25 YEARS OLD. YOU DON'T NECESSARILY THINK OF A MONK GIVING LOVE ADVICE. THIS HAS SHAPED YOU. TELL US HOW THE EXPERIENCE SHAPED YOU AND THIS BOOK. >> I THINK BEFORE THOSE THREE YEARS I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES IN RELATIONSHIPS, SO MANY MISTAKES IN DATING. AFTER THOSE THREE YEARS I REALIZED IT WAS BECAUSE I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW WHO I WAS. THOSE THREE YEARS GAVE ME TIME, SPACE AND ENERGY TO REALLY GET TO KNOW MYSELFMENT WHEN I MET MY NOW WIFE IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER TO FIGURE OUT WHETHER WE HAD A CONNECTION OR NOT. I DON'T THINK EVERYONE NEEDS TO GO OFF AND LIVE AS A MONK FOR THREE YEARS, BUT I DO THINK TAKING TIME BY YOURSELF IN SOLITUDE TO REALLY UNDERSTAND YOURSELF HELPS YOU MAKE A BETTER DECISION. >> YOU TOUCHED ON THIS A MOMENT AGO. YOU SAID HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO SPEND TIME BY YOURSELF. PEOPLE DON'T NORMALLY THINK ABOUT THAT WHEN THEY'RE THINKING ABOUT LOVE. YOU THINK YOU NEED TO BE OUT THERE. TALK MORE ABOUT WHY SPENDING TIME ON YOUR OWN CAN HELP YOU FIND THAT PERFECT PERSON. >> STUDIES SHOW WE USUALLY RUSH INTO LOVE OR RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE WE'RE SCARED TO BE ALONE. THREE THINGS HAPPEN. THE FIRST IS, WE SETTLE FOR LESS THAN WE DESERVE. I THINK WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE. THE SECOND THING IS YOU BECOME MORE DEPENDENT ON THE OTHER PERSON AND THE THIRD IS YOU STRUGGLE TO LEAVE. A BEAUTIFUL STATEMENT BY PAUL TILLAGE WHO SAID THERE'S TWO WORDS FOR BEING ALONE IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND WE ONLY USE ONE, LONELINESS, WHICH IS THE WEAKNESS OF BEING ALONE. BUT SOLITUDE IS THE STRENGTH OF BEING ALONE, THE CONFIDENCE OF BEING ALONE. WHEN YOU UNDERSTAND YOUR PERSONALITIES, YOUR GOALS, WHEN YOU MEET ANOTHER PERSON, YOU CAN SEE IF YOU CONNECT WITH THEIR PERSONALITY, THEIR VALUES, THEIR GOALS. >> MY HUSBAND IS MY BIGGEST CHEERLEADER. THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS I APPRECIATE THE MOST. YOU SAY YOUR PARTNER SHOULD BE YOUR GURU. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? >> THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO READ BECAUSE IT'S GOT A DEEPER IDEA. THE POINT IS, OUR RELATIONSHIPS START WITH CHEMISTRY. WE LOVE THE FEELING OF THE SPARKS, THE ATTRACTION, THE BUTTERFLI BUTTERFLIES. IT'S CHARACTER THAT SEES A RELATIONSHIP THROUGH. CHARACTER MEANS YOU NED TO LEARN AND GROW TOGETHER. WHEN YOUR PARTNER IS YOUR GURU, IT'S SOMEONE YOU LOVE LEARNING WITH, LOVE GROWING WITH, SOLVING PROBLEMS WITH, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT LIFE IS. LIFE IS GOING TO BE COMPLEX. THERE'S GOING TO BE UNCERT UNCERTAINTIES, CHALLENGES. IF YOU'RE GOING TO SPENT YOUR LIFE WITH SOMEONE, IT BETTER BE A PARTNER OR A TEAMMATE THAT YOU LIKE SOLVING PROBLEMS WITH. >> WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE BUT FEEL LIKE YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE LOVE BACK? >> THAT'S A REALLY CHALLENGING SCENARIO THAT I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE FACE AND FIND THEMSELVES IN. I THINK A BIG REASON FOR THAT, DeMARCO, SO MANY OF US GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP AND WE THINK THAT'S THE ACHIEVEMENT. WE NEED TO READDRESS, REDEFINE OUR GOALS AS A COUPLE. >> KIND TO CONTINUE TO WORK. >> CONTINUE TO WORK. SO MANY THINK MOVING IN, GETTING MARRIED, HAVING KIDS THAT THAT'S THE END. IT'S ACTUALLY A CONTINUOUS PROCESS. IT NEVER ENDS. >> IT NEVER ENDS. >> WE SHOULD TALK THE ENTIRE HOUR. >> THIS IS ALL SUCH GREAT ADVICE. FINDING THE PURPOSE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING US TODAY. >> YOU DELIVERED. YOU'RE EVERYTHING PEOPLE SAY ABOUT YOU. >> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. >> THANK YOU. YOU CAN LEARN MUCH MORE IN HIS NEW BOOK "EIGHT RULES OF LOVE, HOW TO FIND IT